The Big Bang Theory kicked off its fifth season tonight on CBS. The gang deals with the aftermath of last season’s cliffhanger where everyone finds out that Penny and Raj slept together.
The episode picks up right where we left off last season and opens up with Sheldon and Leonard eating lunch in the university cafeteria. Sheldon is trying to decipher what Penny meant “that it wasn’t what it looked like” as she did her walk of shame from their apartment to hers. While Sheldon assumes that they engaged in coitus, he continues to be puzzled by her brain teaser, causing him to put on his thinking cap [cue laughter]. Leonard yells and tells him that it’s exactly what it looked like. Eventually, Howard and Raj sit down at the table and Raj becomes the target of Leonard’s “How could you do that?” glances and an awkward silence ensues among the gang.
Sheldon ask Leonard, “Is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse with the woman you used to love in the very place you lay your head?” Leonard sarcastically answers, “No I’m fine with it.” Sheldon ignores his rebuttal and tells the group his true agenda. Paintball! There is an inter- departmental tournament this weekend and he wants to destroy the opposition, mainly the Geology team. Taking the lead as always and to establish a steady unit, Sheldon takes a moment to think of his rank title so that there can be a chain of command. He can’t be four-star General Cooper as he isn’t a Secretary of Defense nor Sergeant Cooper because they might think of him as an average Joe . While he is thinking, Leonard yells at Raj about why he did what he did. Howard, mildly jealous at not getting his chance with Penny because of his engagement takes Leonard’s side. Raj, disillusioned by his night, tells them that he and Penny are in love, at which they respond with a scoff.
Sheldon interjects that his rank will be captain. “If it’s good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo, it’s good enough for me.” Howard tells him that there is no way he is in love with Penny and Leonard adds that he falls in love with any girl that looks at him, spilling the beans that Raj was in love with Bernadette to Howard’s surprise. Raj tells him not to worry because he is now the dusky half of “KuthraPenny.”
Feeling unsure about her friendship with the guys, Penny resorts to drinking wine from a measuring cup. Amy stops by for a visit after hearing about Penny’s night from Sheldon. Penny confides to Amy that she’s screwed up everything between her and both Raj and Leonard. “What is wrong with me. I feel like two different people. I’m like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore,” she says. To make her feel better, Amy proceeds to tell Penny about a story about Catherine the Great’s use of bestiality and that people still call her Great.
While in his apartment, Raj hears a knock on his door. After opening it, he is surprised to see an angry Bernadette yelling at him for telling Howard that there was something between the two of them. She demands to know what he said. Raj tells her that he thought she liked him since she was nice to him to which she rebutts “I’m nice to EVERYONE!.” He apologizes and then asks her advice if he has a chance with Penny. She yells “Of course, you do. Your a cutie pie. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” before slamming the door abruptly.
In an effort to get away from the situation, Penny and Amy are all set to leave the apartment as they see Sheldon and Leonard across the hall and Penny slams the door. Deciding that a few days away might be best, she asks Amy if she can stay at her place. Amy is excited at the prospect of a best friend sleepover and happily agrees. She tells Penny that they can make popcorn and she’ll even teach Penny her secret language.
Next, we see Leonard step out in his paintball camouflage gear, helmet included, asking Sheldon whether it is necessary to wear this. Sheldon responds, “Who said that? Leonard, I can hear your voice, but I can’t see you.” Leonard is not in a great mood. He is torn between his feelings about the Penny/Raj situation and missing Priya, now that she is India. Seeing how he is, Sheldon decides to enlist the help of Leonard’s mother, Beverly (Christine Baranski), through video chat. Leonard asks her advice to which she tells him to “Buck Up, Sissy Pants.”
As Amy and Penny bond and brush each other’s hair, Penny contemplates moving back to Nebraska as she has not made it as an actress yet and all she’s gotten called back for was a hemorrhoids commercial. A knock comes from the door and it’s Raj. He came to ask her out for Friday night. Penny lets him down gently and tells him that they are better as friends. Raj reveals that they didn’t have sex in the conventional sense. Penny is unsure of what that means and Raj explains that while she was trying to help him with the condom, he drew too quickly. He makes her promise not to say anything to the guys.
War time! As they hide out in a hut, the boys are in full gear listening to Sheldon explain the plan of action. Unenthusiastic about the fight and still bummed Leonard wants to pull out of the game. Howard, still mad at Raj, wants to do the same. Raj agrees. Sheldon tries to rally them to change their minds. As they go to walk out the door and forfeit, Sheldon apologizes. Howard tells him to let it go and promises a Jamba Juice to which Sheldon replies, “No. Jamba juices are for heroes.” Sheldon gives up his gun and decides to walk outside and surrender to the opposing team yelling “Geology isn’t a real science” as he is pelted by several different paint balls. As he lays on the ground “dying”, the gang runs out to defend his honor, taking down the team.
As they sit in the living room, reveling in their triumphant win, Penny comes in to apologize about her behavior and that she might be possibly moving back to Nebraska. As Leonard approaches her to tell her not to move because of him, she gets a call from her agent. She’s booked for the hemorrhoids commercial. She’s not moving! The episode ends with the group watching the commercial in the living room laughing along to its ridiculousness.
