This week’s episode picks up with Alan continuing to push his boundaries as a “guest” in Walden’s home. After getting the initial invite to stay, Alan has managed to add the privilege of part-time lodging for his son, Jake (the basis of last week’s episode). Now, he aims to get permission to have a woman spend the night (a return for the character of Lyndsey, played again by veteran television actress Courtney Thorne-Smith).
In the opening sequence, Alan gets to make his mild-mannered request of Walden, with Berta standing in for the audience (she knows all too well how skillfully Alan had worked his way into an open-ended stay at Charlie’s home). By the end of the scene, Walden seems to be gradually realizing how much Alan will be expecting in the length and accommodations of his stay at the house. He also demonstrates some reasonable anxiety about Alan’s admission of having accidentally burned down this woman’s home (though this is quickly glossed over).
Alan’s date with Lyndsey only reminds the audience of the complete lack of connection between these two characters (making it likely that she is seeing Alan again out of the simple desire to hook up for a one night stand). Back at the house, Walden gets to see Berta preparing for a night of kinky sex with some creepy guy (who would be referred to as non-descript except for his “nine magic fingers” that give the episode its name). When Alan and Lyndsey enter the house next, Walden laments how he’s rich, young, and in possession of all of his digits and can’t find any affection. Alan can immediately see Lyndsey’s interest in the younger, richer man and manages to nudge Walden out the door to go out to a bar and meet a woman to take his mind off of his ex-wife. Enter: Courtney (a returning Jenny McCarthy as the grifter character who had wrapped Charlie around her sexually nimble fingers for the last two seasons).
Courtney’s character, a woman who seeks vulnerable and wealthy men to throw money at her, has already been clearly established. But now, Alan needs to do something to keep the clueless Walden out of her clutches. It’s not only out of caring for Walden, of course, but for Alan’s own self-interest (if she is successful in moving into Walden’s home, it means a likely exit for Alan). So he plays the only card he can: he calls Walden’s ex-wife, Bridget. When Walden seems incapable of turning away Courtney—even under the threat of losing all contact with the ex-wife he still desires—Bridget offers her a cashier’s check to leave Walden alone…along with a clear message that she knows of Courtney’s criminal background. Exit: Courtney.
In the closing scene, Alan has proven his loyalty to Walden sufficiently to make the housing offer indefinite (a circumstance that was de facto under Charlie, not by invitation), and he gets his old room back (as Berta has decided to move out but continue to be the housekeeper). Of course, television comedy karma can’t let the episode end that neatly, so Alan nearly chokes to death on a piece of popcorn (which seemed like a lazy “gag”—pardon the pun—on which to end the episode).