There have been a lot of “firsts” at McKinley High, and tonight is no exception, with two couples experiencing their biggest “first” of all.
Rachel and Blaine channel their inner Maria and Tony during rehearsal (“Tonight”) until Artie voices his concerns in a room full of virgins, causing Coach Beiste and Emma to walk out of the auditorium faster than you can you can say “intercourse.”
He explains that the song is about sexual awakening
Check out the preview for next week’s 300th musical performance episode here.
and lacks passion and as the “experienced” one in the room (even though Brittany apparently called him the wrong four times before and after!) asks his classmates about their experiences.
For different reasons, both Finn and Coach Beiste are anxious for the arrival of the football recruiter from Ohio State, who is in on the prowl for a new quarterback in Lima.
Finn invites Rachel over to his house over the weekend, since his mom and Burt are away.
Blaine (sans navy jacket and striped tie) cheats on New Directions as he joins the Warblers for a rendition of Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl.” Post-performance he invites them all to opening night before meeting the new guy, Sebastian, who not-so-innocently asks to meet him again “Warbler-to-Warbler,” as Santana and Rachel duet on “A Boy Like That.”
The football team exchange glances as the Buckeyes recruiter flirts with Coach Beiste, even complimenting her on her new… tube socks (“I got a whole new six-pack if you need to borrow a pair”). Artie plays Cupid and pulls him aside later and convinces him to ask her on a date.
Blaine suggests to Kurt that the two should “be more adventurous,” and tells his BFF-slash-boyfriend that #5 on his bucket list (“have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat”) is “hot.”
Later, Kurt interrupts Sebastian, who blatantly suggests a fling with the former Warbler at the café. The trio make plans to “live a little” and hit up ‘Scandals’ – the local gay bar.
Rachel and Finn enjoy a candlelight dinner and climb into bed before Rachel confesses that she’s now ready to lose her virginity primarily because of her alter ego, Maria. She tries to backtrack and insists that she loves him, but he walks out of the room.
The elder Chang is back, giving his son an ultimatum. He tells Mike that if he continues to pursue his dream of becoming a professional dancer (rather than a doctor), “You can no longer be my son.”
Taking Artie’s cue, the recruiter interrups Coach Beiste’s workout and presents her with a bouquet of red roses (“Are you going to a graveyard?”) and asks her on a “real honest to God sit-down date.”
He refuses to take no for answer despite her lack of self-confidence (“I don’t look the way pretty girls look”) and they arrange a date.
Rachel calls “her girls” to order, requesting advice from Brittany, Santana, Quinn, and Tina after explaining that Finn ran out on her. Q & S tell her she should wait – for different reasons. (“Speaking of experience, Finn is terrible in bed,” admits the brunette.) On the other hand, Tina blushes as she reveals that her first time was amazing, because it was with her first love, Mike. (Cue to Rachel and Santana singing a few bars of “One Hand, One Heart.”)
With fake ID’s in hand, Blaine and Kurt head to the Scandals, where Sebastian has drinks waiting for them. While they boogie on the dance floor, Kurt is joined at the bar by none other than… Karofsky (a/k/a “Bear Cub”), who admits that he is “just trying to get through high school.”
A drunk Blaine is rejected by designated driver Kurt after he tried to pull his boy into the backseat for a little lovin’, and ends up walking home solo.
In the meantime, Rachel – dressed as Little Hot Pink Riding Hood – visits Finn, who is hurt and disappointed at not being recruited (“I suck! I’m not good enough! It’s all over for me!”). Rachel decides to dry his tears (in more ways than one) as she changes her mind.
Both couples are entwined in their respective beds as Rachel and Blaine sing the WSS’ love song, “One Hand, One Heart.”