Read this week’s Modern Family recap before you get caught up in your couponing…

After a threatening poll highlighting Claire’s more unpleasant characteristics surfaces in a glorified school newspaper, it is up to the rest of the Dunphy family to point out her numerous, plentiful, abundant, whatever adjective you’d prefer, flaws, before the big debate…

All is going well for Cam and Mitchell as they prepare Lily for her first flower girl experience.  Her dress arrives in the mail, which appears to be Lady Gaga’s re-imagining of Little Bo Peep, Cameron showers Lily with his expertise in flowering tossing, and all wraps up with Lily dropping a bleeped out obscenity like a regular ol’ flower petal.  Yup, seems all is going well.

Meanwhile, Jay will not allow Stella out of his sight after fearing that his beloved canine wants to escape this wretched world, by drowning herself in the pool.

Cameron and Mitchell attempt to teach Lily that the word that rhymes with duck is not a good word for little girls to say.  Although, I’m sure this lesson would hold more relevance if Cam could keep his giddy laughter from popping out like a jack-in-the-box.

Claire’s debate begins strong, but within seconds her confidence unravels like a Slinky stretching down a flight of stairs.  If only Clive Bigsby could have kept his Slinky in his pants that fateful Valentine’s Day she would not be in this predicament.

Dressed and ready for the wedding, Gloria opts to dive into the water to save Stella from again ending it and Jay thanks her with a warm towel.  And by her I mean the dog.

At the wedding, which looked more like a laser light show at Epcot, the serious event is quickly shattered by a barrage of f*cks sprayed across the crowd by Lily, followed by an eruption of laughter, before Cameron carries his cursing child out of the church unable to repress his giggles.