Lies, double crossing, awkward brothel scenes – what more can you ask for in a TV drama? Gossip Girl just keeps on giving doesn’t it?
In tonight’s episode, Diana reveals to Jack Bass what we already know – she’s not Chuck’s real mom. During that revelation, Diana realizes that Nate stole her red planner the night he seduced her.
Nate lies about having it while he, Chuck and Lola try to figure out Diana’s secret code written in the planner. Chuck enlists Blair, who’s trying to revert to her old Blair-ness, to crack the code because apparently she’s awesome at the sort of thing.
Dan is invited to Italy for a young writer’s fellowship, but he’s unsure so he checks with Blair, who is ecstatic. But is she a little too happy? Dan sure thinks so.
Lola approaches Serena to help break Diana’s code and Serena agrees, but Serena actually lets Diana know everything. While pretending to break into Diana’s office, Serena makes an agreement with Diana to steal back the planner in exchange for Gossip Girl’s real phone number. Serena tries to steal it but proves to be an awful thief and gets caught. When she finds out Diana has been lying about being Chuck’s mother Serena realigns herself with Team Chuck.
The group sends Dorota in to infiltrate Diana’s hotel room under the guise of a massage therapist. Dorota literally massages the information out of Diana and leaves her waiting for a seaweed body wrap. They call one of the decoded phone numbers and get the address of the event Diana will be attending.
Since the group has no need for the planner anymore, Serena takes it back to Diana in exchange for Gossip Girl’s phone number. Lola snatches Serena’s phone to “help” Serena GPS locate the real Gossip Girl. They end up at the same party as Chuck and Co., which turns out to be an ultra swanky Peruvian brothel run by a mistress named India who, in an amazing turn of events, is actually Diana!
After discovering Chuck wandering around the house with Blair, Diana/India calls a swift end to party and kicks everyone out. Everyone but Jack Bass that is, who Chuck confronts but ends up even more confused when Jack goes on about how Chuck may have just ruined everything. But ruined what? We don’t find out because Chuck is immediately and impolitely escorted out of the building.
Serena tries to update Gossip Girl from her phone but surprise! She can’t. She’s been blocked. The laptop will solve this because it’s clearly an error, but Serena can’t find the laptop. Nate & Lola has set her up and allowed the real Gossip Girl to steal back her identity. Serena tries to call GG but just that quick the number has been disconnected. Nate and Lola insist they did it for Serena’s own good and Serena sulks away home to eat a bowl of berries in the dark.
Dan turns down the trip to Italy because he can write anywhere and Blair is just that special to him. He tells Blair that they turned him down, saying they found someone else. He asks Blair if she knows he loves her and she lovingly responds back, “I know now.” Clearly that’s not the response Dan was looking for.
Chuck is back wandering inside the now seemingly empty house. He opens a door and standing there, back from the dead, is Bart Bass – the man Chuck originally thought was his father.
Is Diana actually a mystic with the abilities to resurrect the dead? Probably not, but this goes a lot deeper than what anyone is ready for.
Next week on Gossip Girl: More drama and hopefully some answers.