Jess performs a “backslide,” Schmidt and Cece take things to the next level, and Nick drops a major bombshell this week on “New Girl.”
After her breakup with Russell last week, Jess is in a pretty severe state of depression. She’s been playing the same song over, and over, and over again, with no end in sight. When neither Schmidt nor Winston can stop the madness, Cece finally steps in and turns it off– but not before Nick and Caroline can flaunt their new relationship by showing Jess the dance they made up.
Later on, when the gang are all out getting drinks, Schmidt and Winston warn Jess about a phenomenon called “the backslide.” Basically, it’s when someone calls his or her ex after a breakup, making things even more complicated. Jess realizes that Nick is the real backslider, but when she calls him out on it, he denies it. Jess grabs her phone and, just when you think she’s about to call Russell, she throws a huge curve ball and calls Paul, of all people. If you’ll remember, Paul was the cute teacher from Jess’s school that she dated a few months back, and they end up sleeping together.
Meanwhile, Schmidt’s interesting condition (his broken penis) worsens each time he and Cece hang out together, because literally everything turns him on. The solution to that problem ends up being that Schmidt and Cece can visit Cece’s grandmother at her nursing home. At first she warns him, telling him that if he hurts her, “I will let myself die and then haunt you.” However, it turns out that she is actually very supportive, and Cece ends up confessing that she wants to have a real, lasting relationship with Schmidt; which, of course, gives him excrutiating pain (down there).
Everyone is making fun of Winston, because his newfound friendship with his boss led him to getting drunk and getting his ear pierced. While he is flaunting his new man jewelry to Schmidt, they see Paul and Jess have an awkward goodbye at the front door, then accuse her of being a backslider. Which, of course, she is. But things only get more complicated when Jess runs into Paul at school, and he reveals that he actually has a girlfriend. Jess feels terrible, and even more terrible when Paul’s girlfriend Jen walks in, and she is basically the Asian version of Jess, blunt-cut bangs and all.
Despite it being pretty much the worst idea ever, Nick and Caroline are discussing moving in together. When Schmidt and Winston hear this news, they hold Nick down on the couch by force and make him watch the DVD he made himself after his first breakup with Caroline two years ago. To say that past Nick is no winner is an understatement: he has long hair and a shaggy beard, a bottle of liquor in each hand, and collects his own tears in a glass jar. Future Nick, however, is unchanged. He is convinced that Caroline is a better person now, and is also scared of being alone.
At school, Jess confronts Paul and tells him that she wants him to tell his girlfriend what happened between them. When Jen walks in on them, Paul unexpectedly blurts out that he cheated. They both start to “ugly” cry (the worst kind of crying), but Jess intervenes just as Jen is about to walk out. She reminds Jen that she loves Paul, that they are perfect for each other, and that the cheating will never happen again. Suddenly, Paul takes out a ring, and the most awkward proposal of all time takes place. Jen accepts, though! And it’s all thanks to Jess.
Back at the loft, Jess confronts Nick when he gets out of the shower. She tells him that what he’s doing with Caroline is not a good idea, because Paul and Jen showed her that when you really love someone, it’s simple. Caroline does not love him, because things between them are so complicated. And just when you think that Jess will pull off two miracles in one day, Nick reveals that he and Caroline already signed a lease and he’s moving out.
Were you shocked by Nick’s decision? How will it change the dynamic of the show? Leave a comment below!