Now that we’ve all given thanks, stuffed ourselves with Turkey, and, most importantly, watched the latest episode of Glee, let’s recap what those crazy McKinley kids got up to this week.
We open at a meeting of the Secret Society Of Superheroes — seems like McKinley High has caught the masked man craze. The meeting is being led by Blaine Anderson, aka Nightbird. In attendance:
Tina Cohen-Chang, aka Asian Persuasion
Samuel Evans, aka The Blonde Chameleon
Joe Hart, aka Tarantula Head
Sugar Motta, aka Sweet N Spicy
Artie Abrams, aka Dr. Y
Becky Jackson, aka Queen B
Brittany S. Pierce, aka The Human Brain
The meeting is interrupted by a panicked Dottie Kazatori, aka Chai Tea (aka Tina’s assistant), who informs the kids they’re needed in the choir room. After an epic slow motion run down the hall, they enter their rehearsal space to find their crown jewel, the Nationals Trophy, has been stolen. In its place, a laptop. They play the video to see a Warbler with a pixelated face holding their beloved trophy. He taunts them: “A great reckoning is ahead.” That reckoning would be sectionals, which is next week(!!!).
In the hallway, Jake asks Marley out, but he is quickly informed by Ryder that she already has plans with him. The two overconfident freshmen trade insults. Jake, on Ryder’s name: “It sounds like your parents must have named you after a cowgirl doll who comes with her own pony.” Ryder, on Jake’s choice of transportation: “Nothing says ‘bad-ass’ like a Razr scooter.” The two start shoving, but are interrupted by an in-costume Tina, who cries: “I persuaaade you to stop fighting immediately!” And then Becky: “Freeze, bitches!”
At rehearsal, Finn announces to the club that they have two new members: Ryder and Kitty. Tina, still upset that Finn is her new coach, is furious about Kitty’s inclusion: “Why didn’t you just call Santana, since she’s better than anyone who’s actually enrolled here?” Someone’s bitter. Finn soldiers on, announcing the theme he’s come up with for their Sectionals setlist: Foreigner. What does that mean, you ask? Let Finn tell you: “Songs by Foreigner, in foreign languages, wearing all the costumes of the world’s nations. *cricket* Brittany asks Kiki, her phone, what it thinks. Kiki’s response? “I think I’m alive and you are the machine.” Kiki is so wise. Blaine is also upset at Finn’s lack of leadership skills — the guy hasn’t even noticed the missing trophy! Blaine vows to retrieve it himself.
Next: A dark Warbler rises