This week’s episode of Glee, called ‘Swan Song,’ picked up right where we left off last week on that massive Sectionals cliffhanger, so let’s jump right in:
The members of New Directions stumbled into the choir room, carrying a still-woozy Marley. Mr. Schue frankly seemed more concerned with the group’s chances of winning than the wellbeing of one of his students, reminding everyone that leaving the stage mid-performance is basically forfeiting. Can he just stay in DC, please? Blaine quickly got Marley a juice box, but she insisted she was fine and wanted to get back onstage. Enter Sue, to gleefully (pun intended) inform the kids that they’d already lost, and The Warblers had been unanimously declared the winners. Whoops. I’m not sure who to be most upset with here: Finn for botching his first competition, Schue for being a terrible teacher, Sue for being so nasty, Kitty for sabotaging Marley, or Marley herself for being such a dupe. Seriously, how did she not get that Kitty was blatantly messing with her??
Over in the Big Apple, Rachel gets the news of New Directions’ loss as she’s in the middle of fretting about NYADA’s all-important Winter Showcase. Apparently, every year Carmen Tibideaux personally invites 10 students to compete in the showcase, and freshmen rarely get invited. Cut to Rachel getting invited. Of course. The invitation is an embossed, hand-written, wax-sealed work of art. Carmen was very Willy Wonka with those Golden Envelopes, wasn’t she?
The next day, Finn walks into the choir room to see that Sue has wasted no time in claiming the space for herself, since ND will clearly no longer be needing it. Due to the relatively high ceilings, she plans on converting it into a rehearsal space for her French-Canadian-inspired show, Sue De Soleil. I would pay good money to see that. Choir-room-demolishing activities include: putting ‘Individuality’ posters through the shredder; re-engraving the plaque of former director Lilian Adler to read: ‘I died a slow, horrible death choking to death on the fluid in my own lungs;’ and running over the Nationals Trophy with Sue’s LeCar. Fortunately, Finn manages to prevent that last atrocity, but he and New Directions are still short one rehearsal space. (Did we all forget that April Rhodes bought the auditorium for the group way back in Season One specifically so this kind of thing couldn’t happen? It’s even named The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion! Sigh…)
Next: A trail of breakfast cereal leads me to a long-winded rant.