Anyone who watches New Girl knows the best episodes are the Schmidt-centered ones, and – rejoice – this one was, albeit a slightly sad one in the end.
In order to land a huge promotion, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) has to dress to impress. And he would have, had Jess (Zooey Deschanel) and Winston (Lamorne Morris) not come together in a bathtub-on-the-roof secret pact. The tub overflows, crashes through the celling and soaks Schmidt’s best suits. In classic Three’s Company-style, Jess and Winston arrange a fake meth head robbery to explain the missing suits. Somehow Schmidt buys it. His logic? “They took the suits, left the douchebag jar. Typical meth heads.” Of course. Because meth heads would completely overlook cold hard cash for some stylish suits.
Speaking of meth, Nick (Jake Johnson) winds up at a strip club with a hot whiskey-drinking stripper (played by guest star Olivia Munn, doing what she always does) after they carry her beefcake boyfriend back to the club for some stitches, because apparently at this particular strip club, patrons can get both a lap dance and a cool scar – and not from the same thing, either.
Schmidt, in all his lighting-bolt-on-the-back-summer-suit glory, gets the promotion by taking shots of something mysterious called VV, or Vitamin Vodka, and running through marketing ideas.
Earlier in the episode, he got super serious with Cece; it was the sweetest, best thing his character’s done…until he struggled over what to call Cece’s religion. Hint, it’s not Indianism. She gives him another chance, tells him to come by for dinner, but of course he’s vodka-drunk with his former crazy sex partner boss, and we last see Cece calling her mom and asking her to arrange a date for her, because as we learned from the last episode, her eggs are almost fried.
That one was hard to resist. I had to do it in order to counterbalance how absolutely devastated Schmidt looked the next morning. He even agreed to the bathtub; in fact, in this Schmidt-centered episode, the only character who didn’t end up gloriously happy at the end was the main one.