What’s that sound? Why, it’s the patter of a few million hearts beating faster after that record-breaking skin-baring episode of Glee! Seriously, I think there was more flesh in that episode than there was in the entire last season of Game Of Thrones, and that’s saying something! But of course there was more to the aptly-titled ‘Naked’ than the sight of the McKinley Men’s student bodies, so let’s get to the gory details:
The first thing we witnessed was a local news broadcast (I thought my TV was on the wrong station for a second) breaking the news of the Warblers’ cheating scandal. Hunter Clarington was seen leaving the Lima Municipal Courthouse, being badgered by reporters with queries like, “What about reports that you look WAY too old to be in high school?” (Fair question.) Busted for their steroid use, Dalton Academy was disqualified, and the New Directions suddenly found themselves back in the competition! Wait, what? Weren’t they disqualified, too? Shouldn’t the Rosedale Mennonites, the only team at Sectionals NOT disqualified, be moving on instead? I guess we’re supposed to ignore that gaping plot hole, so…the point is, New Directions is going to Regionals! Hooray!
So now the question facing the show choir is how to pay for the bus to the competition in Indianapolis (Artie: “It’s the Paris of Indiana”). Finn proposes a bake sale, but Artie points out the only reason that worked last time was because Puck spiked the cupcakes with pot. Joe proposes donating his hair. Kitty: “To who, Jamaican kids with rastafarian cancer, or as rigging on a haunted pirate ship?” Sam proposes selling “more” of his semen. (Wait…more? Could Sam be Sue’s mystery baby daddy? Surely not…)
Tina has the genius idea to hold a photo shoot and create a Men Of McKinley calendar to sell to the students — it’ll be raging success because, as Kitty points out, women drive the economy: “Those Twilight books are poop on paper and we turned them into a billion-dollar industry.” Point taken, Ms Wilde.
Next: Lord Tubbington makes his triumphant return! And another blast from the past resurfaces…