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Star Trek Into Darkness Tops WEEKEND TOP TEN BOX OFFICE 5/19/13
In the interests of total transparency, I must admit I’m a Trekker from way back. The simple fact I used “Trekker” and not “Trekkie” should tell you that because for hardcore fans, “trekkie” was considered derogatory. Seriously. People dressed up like Klingons while getting married took offense to that term. Needless to say a reboot was automatic sacrilege to me and it didn’t help matters that it was being done by a JJ Abrams, who is basically Joss Whedon for stupid people. Seriously, if you think he’s smart, you’re as dumb as a bag of rocks and should let other people handle important decisions in your life like voting and taxes and which color socks to wear. He freely admitted he didn’t “get” Star Trek and wanted to “broaden the audience” (because you know, after 50 years, 9 films and 5 television shows, it still hadn’t found one without him) which is double-speak for “dumb it down.” The mildly intellectual aspects of Star Trek (and they were mild, let’s not kid ourselves) are what distinguished it and he got rid of them, which is like saying you’re making a Sherlock Holmes film, but he won’t be smart. Now the reason I’m stressing this is that the number one movie this week, Star Trek: Into Darkness, is one of the dumbest movies you will ever see, even for a summer movie. We start off immediately with The Enterprise being underwater for no reason other than someone thought it would look cool rising from the waves. That it makes not one lick of sense hardly seems to matter. This lets you know right then you should have checked your brain, not just the door, but not even bother taking it out of the house. Unlike the first film, this one does try to have an underlying theme besides “be more like Star Wars.” They seem to finally address the fact that Kirk is in fact too irresponsible to be an actual captain, but it’s a feint because literally ten minutes after he loses his command, he’s back in the captain’s seat and this is done through the time-honored hack convention of making everyone else around him dumb so that he seems smart. He continually “fails upwards.” While the original James T. Kirk succeeded from balls & bravado coupled with brains, this one is basically balls and not much else and literally has a character tell him, “You’re totally wrong, but I will still reward your failings.” I can’t really discuss the plot without giving away the twists, but what’s the point in making a new Star Trek if you’re just going to continually recycle the old? For all its problems, the first Star Trek reboot movie had a new villain and dramatic changes to the status quo (Vulcan is gone, Spock’s mother is dead and he’s involved with Uhura), while this basically remakes an old Star Trek episode, part of one of the movies and takes various elements from the last film with the original cast, improving on nothing you’ve seen before while wasting a good cast with solid chemistry and humor that is actually on the level of the original Star Trek.
1. Star Trek Into Darkness/Par Wknd/$ 70.6 Total/$ 84.1
2. Iron Man 3/Paramount Wknd/$ 35.2 Total/$ 337.1
3. The Great Gatsby/Warners Wknd/$ 23.4 Total/$ 90.2
4. Pain and Gain/Paramount Wknd/$ 3.1 Total/$ 46.6
5. The Croods/Fox Wknd/$ 2.8 Total/$ 176.8
6. 42/ Warners Wknd/$ 2.7 Total/$ 88.7
7. Oblivion/Universal Wknd/$ 2.2 Total/$ 85.5
8. Mud/ Wknd/$ 2.2 Total/$ 11.6
9. Tyler Perry Presents Peeples/LGF Wknd?$ 2.2 Total/$ 7.9
10. The Big Wedding/LGF Wknd/$ 1.1 Total/$ 20.2