Joey Fatone Mocks One Direction-Tells Them Harry Styles Will Be BreakOut Star
In an amusing public letter Joey Fatone is warning One Direction that going their separate ways will send them into oblivion. All but Harry Styles. The former NSYNC member laughs at himself and his other boy band members while telling 1D that if they want a look at the future to take a look at him.
Forget Christmas Past and Christmas Future. Fatone is brings Pop Stardom Past and gives it to the boys straight. Once part of the pop sensation NSYNC, things changed when they parted ways. Justin Timberlake went on to even greater success leaving the rest in relative obscurity.
Fatone starts out writing:
Dear Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niali Horan and Harry Styles,
Hey guys. It’s Joey Fatone, former member of NSync and current announcer on Family Feud, the job I’ve always dreamed of. This weekend while sitting on the toilet and crying (I LOVE MY LIFE!!!) I flipped through my iPhone and saw that you’d announced a “one-year hiatus” beginning in March. I just wanted to congratulate you guys and wish you well! I’m sure 2016 will be a wonderful time for everyone from One Direction to pursue some independent projects before regrouping as a stronger band one year later! Here’s to spreading your wings!
Fatone picks Harry Styles as the one who will be going places even making comparisons with Justin Timberlake. He lets the rest know in no uncertain terms that Styles will be the one doing the cool stuff like dropping “dope singles with Beyonce, Ryan Adams and Wiz Khalifa” before coming out with a “killer solo album produced by Pharrell and Timbaland.”
It doesn’t end there though. He also sees a Judd Apatow movie in his future along with a “self-produced album on which he hints at being bisexual that everyone will call his ‘best work.'”
As far as the rest of the band? He declares them “f-cked.” As in:
I mean f*cked. I am the second most-successful former member of NSync and I am Joey Fatone. Say that outloud to yourself: “Besides Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone is the most successful member of NSync.”
To illustrate what he was trying to say to them he posted a video of himself as the spokesperson for Bosley hair restoration last year before telling them just how bleak their future will be. He sees their “best case scenario” as a “6-week stint in Minions:The Musical! on Broadway.”
After that he sees them bouncing around in various jobs. He then throws a jab Louis Tomlinson’s way:
Do you know what Chris Kirkpatrick is doing? Because I don’t. he’s completely unreachable. He might be managing a Best Buy in Sacramento, he might be dead. No one knows. Louis, I’m looking at you.
Fatone does make a point of telling them that their free fall won’t be due to a lack of talent. Its just that he believes:
that Harry is so, so much cuter, cooker and more talented than the rest of you. Deep down, you’ve always know that, but you will never truly understand it until you’re in your grimy little condo, sitting in your boxers, sucking a chow mien noodle off your Playstation controller and watching Harry blow it up on SNL.
How great to hear a former phenom tell it like it is instead of talking about all of the projects he’s got lined up! He finishes up telling them:
Jesus christ I wish I was still in NSync. Jesus…JESUS F*CK! I would give all my hair to go back to that.
Anyway,enjoy the next few months, One Direction, because they’re your’e last.
Someone is finally telling the members or One Direction how it is, and someone who has been there. Zayn Malik may be ok too considering Simon Cowell got him that great deal with RCA, but the rest of the guys? Which one will be Justin Timberlake? Who will be the Joey Fatone? And which one will become Chris Kirkpatrick?
What did you think about Joey Fatone’s letter to One Direction? After you finished laughing did think he was right, or do you think they’re headed to even greater success? Let us know what you think here at Haveuheard.