The bigger the sex toy, the bigger the score for an alleged shoplifter — or at least that appears to be what this person was thinking, attempting the ol’ 5-finger discount on a 30-inch tall dildo!

Surveillance footage at famed adult store Circus of Books in West Hollywood shows the not-so-smooth shopper snatch the giant sex toy off a display table, tuck it under their arm and walk right out the front door.

We gotta imagine this bad boy is only for show, and not so much functional because it’s more than 2′ tall and retails for almost $700.

In the video — obtained by WEHO Times — you see the cashier spring into action as soon as they notice the phallus heist going down.

The cashier runs out from behind the counter and goes after the person. The video then cuts to the cashier carrying the 30″ dildo back into the store, returning it to the display table … opposite yet another oversized toy. Caper foiled!!!

We’ve seen similar incidents before … during the pandemic, cops got involved after a man was seen on video swiping a 3-foot dildo from a sex shop in Las Vegas.