Britney Spears said she no longer believes in God because of the way her family has treated her.
The “Toxic” singer, who spent nearly 14 years under a conservatorship managed by her father that controlled almost every aspect of her life, spoke about losing her faith in a voice memo shared Monday on Instagram.
“God would not allow that to happen to me if a God existed,” she said, according to Page Six, which transcribed the audio before it was deleted. “I don’t believe in God anymore because of the way my children and my family have treated me. There is nothing to believe in anymore. I’m an atheist, y’all.”
The voice note focused in large part on her teenage son, Jayden James, who recently spoke about their relationship in an interview with the Daily Mail.
Jayden turns 16 this month, and his older brother, Sean Preston, turns 17. Spears had the two boys with her ex-husband Kevin Federline, who was also interviewed and has main custody of the children.
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The two teens declined to attend their mother’s wedding to Sam Asghari in June. Jayden said he and his brother no longer spend time with their mom but hope to reconnect when she gets “better mentally.”
He also defended his grandfather Jamie Spears, saying he “was just trying to be a father” when he placed Spears in the conservatorship.
Since a judge released Spears from the conservatorship in November, she has talked about the abuse she suffered under the legal arrangement, which had allowed her father to dictate personal, financial and health decisions, and how she parented her children for over a decade.
Spears has repeatedly accused her other family members, including her mother and sister, of failing to protect and help her.
“It saddens me not one of you have valued me as a person,” she said of her sons in the clip. “You’ve witnessed how my family has been to me, and that’s all you know. Like I said, I feel you all secretly like to say something’s wrong with me.”