Have U Heard will be attending the 2nd annual Tween Summit being held in New York on October 10, 2010.   The Tween Summit is aimed at tween girls between the ages of 9 and 13. The goal of the summit is to empower the girls and provide them with a voice.

One of the benefits of both sponsoring and attending the summit is we have the opportunity to interview the speakers prior to the event.   I spoke with Deborah Reber, the author of non-fiction, self-help books to support young women and girls in creating the life they want.  She speaks to women and young girls on issues ranging from self-esteem and reducing stress to planning for and reaching future dreams.  Debbie  was great to speak to – refreshingly honest and open.  

Have U Heard (HUH):  You started out in advertising and then video and tv – then eventually made your way into writing – looking back do you think that you always wanted to be a writer but just didn’t see the signs??

I was always writing letters to the editors or anytime I had a strong opinion, I would write an article about it for no outlet in particular. I went to Africa for one of my very first jobs, I was working for CARE and it was a life changer for me. I came back and thought I had to write a book about this. It was always a default for me. I always loved books and the power of them. When I started working for Blue Clues I started overseeing the publishing program for that show – I got to really understand the publishing industry and I really loved it.

HUH: What is it about writing that you love the most??

I find the writing process really hard. It’s kind of like a mystery to me. My favorite part is kind of like the same for running for me. I love having run and I love having written. So I really love when I’ve already written something or I have completed a draft and then I go back and I have this thing to work with and I don’t quite understand how it came out of me in the first place. That whole mystery is very intriguing to me. I do find it really hard at times.

How do you over come writers block?
When I’m struggling I work in very short snippets of time. I’ll sit down and crank something out and then I go back. I do these short, intense bursts to push through and feel like I am accomplishing something without beating myself over the head.

HUH: How did you get involved in writing for teen girls?
Throughout my 20’s all of my volunteering and my personal work revolved around teenagers. I was really drawn to that because I consider myself a recoverying teenager. I felt a strong calling to work with teen girls. My first real book was a book on running for women, I saw the power and impact of inspiring people. When I quit my full-time job to write I just knew that I had to work for girls and I had to do everything I could to impact them in a positive way.

Did you have self esteem issues growing up?
Yes – very much so. As I said, I am a recovering teenager. I still struggle with my certain things. I had very low self esteem as a teenager. A lot of body images issues and a lot of insecurities, just low self worth – especially when it came to boys. I was a late bloomer, I was kind of goofy. My sister was the smart valedictorian and I was kind of the “screw up”. I spent a lot of time trying to prove that I had worth and I didn’t go about that in the best ways.

What kind of an effect did your parents have on your self esteem issues?
My parents were clueless. I have a good relationship with my parents. I am very close with my mother. I don’t think she really understood who I was. They were uninvolved as parents and my dad was not very demonstrative with his feelings towards me. Not to place blame but a lot of my trying to find approval through boys or being liked by boys was directly a result for not being good enough for my Dad. Having such an overachieving sister hurt me as well since I always felt like I paled in comparison with her.

What would you recommend to a parent to help that?
Just letting your child know that you appreciate them for who they are and that uniqueness is a great thing and we all have things we are great at. Providing a lot of love and support. Also being aware of the messages that you as a parent might be giving a child. We model behavior that kids kind of pick up. Being aware of the things you say. Little things that said in jest sometimes stick with kids.

You have a new book coming out called Love, Love, Love what could you tell us about the book?
It’s my first novel. I wanted to try writing fiction and seeing what that was like. It’s a romantic comedy – a light hearted fun story about a girl who thinks that she has to be someone else to get the attention of a boy – and she impersonates a Hungarian exchange student.
The book is called, ‘The Language of Love’ and it is coming out in a two book bindup called Love, Love, Love.

Out of all the books you have written do you have a favorite??
My favorite is probably ‘In Their shoes’. Extraordinary women describe their amazing careers. It was my favorite to write because I got to interview 50 amazing women. I got to peak inside the lives of these women that I really admired and respected and were doing such cool work. That was definitely my favorite to write. From the feedback I get from teen girls that was one of they enjoyed the most.

What is your favorite book – that you have not written?
The Hours by Michael Cunningham. It won the Pulitzer. I read it at a time when I first started writing. His writing blew me away. His sense of story. The whole thing. It’s the kind of writer that I aspire to be.

Favorite television shows?
This is highly embarrassing but I love The Bachelor – I have to watch it live. Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice are also favorites.

If you could describe yourself in five words what would they be?
Optimistic, hard working, goofy, athletic and loyal