Wait. A new episode of Happy Endings on a Sunday night at 10? Thanks for telling me ABC (I follow Casey Wilson on twitter and she told me)! Alex brings her racist parrot into the diner because she’s closing her store to go to the “rom-com con” and no one is more excited about it than Brad who’s had to cut back on his various conventions, including “Chaka Khan Con, Bond Con. James Bond con.” This leads to everyone riffing on various con ideas that just rhyme with “con” while the best one is actually Penny’s disparaged, “Break Into Song Con.” A nearby diner brings it to end with his suggestion, “She f**k up.” But Alex then adds “con” to it and all is well. Title credits.
Dave, Jane and Max are in the bar and Dave decides to sing the song he wrote for Alex, which has the lyrics, “I wish I knew how to make you come…onto me.” Both Max and Jane question the choice of words which is odd given Jane’s similar word choice at the beginning of the season when she spoke how she loved to “coming so hard” home to Brad. Max mocks Dave’s song and says he needs to be manly and alone like Max and quotes something that sounds suspiciously like a line from the movie Heat, but Max corrects him and says it’s from his “original screenplay, Heat 2: It’s Getting Hot Up In Herre.” Which he’s only written because he has so much alone time. He then storms out complaining about all the happy people. Jane and Dave resolve to set Max up, which I’m sure will go well.
Alex is getting ready to go to the rom com con (again Dave texts her to get ready to come…down to the car) dressed as Annie Hall, but with the worst Annie Hall impression. Brad has a literal tub load of memorabilia he wants her to get signed which includes a VHS director’s cut of Overboard where “Goldie Hawn doesn’t learn her lesson in the end and decides to be rich and alone.” Penny mocks it and in a game of keep away accidentally breaks a plate Alex made as a child and still uses to eat birthday cake off every night. “Wait. She eats birthday cake very night?” Brad questions. “Just blow past that,” Penny responds, imploring him to just help get Alex out of there so they can fix it. Each accuses the other of breaking it and the racist parrot repeats their accusation in time for Alex to just hear “broken.” Penny insists it’s just the glass ceiling. “And I’ll climb that corporate ladder in skirt and I don’t care who looks up it, ‘cause I keep my yard tight…” I’d count the number or dirty jokes we’ve heard so far, but don’t think I have enough fingers and toes.