This week they’re cooking for firefighters with help of Wal-Mart, which Graham Eliot says about six times as he explains how they’re required to use NY Strip Steak in their meals (Prissy Douche Chef aka Joe Bastianich adds another few “Wal-Marts” when introducing the vegetables). Sucks to be a vegetarian fireman. Bethy and Bime won last week so they’re the captains and we get our weekly reliving of childhood trauma by picking teams with an added dose of cruelty in detailing the weaknesses and strengths of the final three where Kathy is last again. Extra bonus trauma points: Bethy gets a chance to exchange one of her team members for one of hers, which was second-to-last chosen Krissi, the resident loudmouth. Neither Bime nor Krissi is thrilled.
Bime has a democratic red team while Bethy is the iron-fisted ruler of the blue team (discuss the irony amongst yourselves). Gordon comes over and flat out tells each team how they’re screwing up and they both ignore him in their own way and which results in me finally seeing the Gordon Ramsey I’ve heard about (and now we know why there’s a mature warning). Democracy starts to backfire on Bime as they bicker amongst themselves. The firefighters arrive in a rather ostentatious manner with operatic music, which I imagined drained some of the fun of getting free meal on TV. Blue Team prepares a steak with a chimachurri sauce, asparagus and potatoes. Red Team does a steak with a reduction sauce, sautéed mushroom and a cauliflower puree. Blue wins both visually and in basic description for me. They also get their dishes out first, but they screw up allowing Bastianich to be his charming self as he yells at them. Red seems to be winning on flavor but aren’t getting their plates out fast enough until Gordon steps in with some actually constructive yelling. But it’s not enough as Blue wins with 68 out of the 101. Tyranny defeats democracy in the workplace every time! Red Team now gets the Pressure Test and apparently losers also have to clean their own kitchens. They then play the blame game, which causes Beth to break down into tears when Natasha takes offense to Beth calling the cauliflower puree “disgusting.” Though it probably was. Seriously? Cauliflower? Puree? Ugh.