On Monday’s new Daily Show, Jon Stewart discusses Bowe Bergdahl with Jason Jones and Jessica Williams, and talks with Philip K. Howard.
It’s been a few days since Bowe Bergdahl was brought back to the US, and we’re still gathering all of the facts on his original disappearance. But that isn’t stopping some newscasters from ramping up the wild statements. He’s been called a “deserter,” “anti-American,” a “modern day Lee Harvey Oswald.” And Bergdahl’s father, Bob, hasn’t helped the situation. He’s grown a lengthy beard that has, to some, ‘looked Muslim.’ “I get more of an Amish vibe,” Stewart said. Bill O’Reilly’s infallible logic: “He looks like a Muslim, because he looks like a Muslim.” Stewart said not all men with beards are Muslims, like Abraham Lincoln (adding that he’s a better example of a bearded man who’s killed many Americans).
Bob told his son, “obey your conscience,” which was misconstrued by FOX News as meaning “do whatever you want.” So Stewart was visited by his conscience, Jiminy Cricket, who asked, “Why do you still watch these a******s?” Cricket then left, saying he was going to engage in autoerotic asphyxiation.
Bob Bergdahl complicated things further by reciting a Muslim phrase at the White House. The phrase is a signal of victory, when they overtake something. Naturally, it didn’t go unnoticed, with Sean Hannity adding that Obama smiled when he said it. But as it turns out, the phrase is really nothing more than a blessing, as evidenced in a montage of leaders saying it to Bush (and a clip from “Bohemian Rhapsody”).
Finally, people have been saying the five Taliban leaders set free will attack the US in a Muslim revolution. But Stewart turned to a different story, of the two white supremacists in Las Vegas who killed two policemen in a “revolution.” “We just need to protect this country from terrorists…with beards.”